


The Unforgiven

by sexualnovak



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alaska, Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Im not good at tagging, Jesse needs a hug, PTSD, Sadness, Slow Burn, Takes place after el Camino, new start
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22280998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexualnovak/pseuds/sexualnovak
Summary: The one where Jesse Pinkman gets a happy ending.
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. One.

Alaska — The New Frontier. Middle of December.

Everything about Alaska seemed so.. perfect.

Especially Tok, Alaska.

Bordering Canada, it offered nothing but silence, and peace. Filled with tall trees—taller trees than he had ever seen in Albuquerque—that were always tipped with white snow. The roads were open, never plowed for snow.

Yes, it was quite a dramatic change from what he was used to, but it was such a good change.

Though he originally ended up in Haines, Alaska, as soon as he got into his newest, shitty, Toyota beater, he kept driving.

He was free.

Haines had a population of about 2,500. Tok, a little over 1,000. Less people seemed more fitting for him. Less people meant there wasn't going to be a new face constantly.

At first, it wasn't easy.

The hardest part of moving to a new town—a new town where everybody knew each other—was getting to know his new name. James J Driscoll.

He had slipped up a few times, especially when he arrived at his first motel.

—

_"What's your name, Hon?" The sweet lady at the desk asked kindly, her brown hair framing her chubby face. She must've been about 45-50. Her tone was something so sweet that he couldn't recall a time someone was so nice to him._

_"Jess—uhh—Jay, James Driscoll." He mumbled, wringing his hands nervously._

_"Alright, Jay, just need you to fill out your name on the log book. How many nights will you be staying with us?" She smiled, a genuine smile, which kind of scared him._

_He fumbled in his pocket, instead of reaching in his bag that had a lump some of $50's and $100's in it, still banded by the bank strips. He pulled out $400, two $100's and four $50's. He counted the money hastily, then_ _looked up at the lady._

_"How many nights will $400 get me?" He put the money on the counter, and she picked it up, counting it carefully._

_"14 nights, sugar. One's on the house." She smiled, which Jesse could only identify as a pitiful smile. Did he really look that bad? Were his scars really that noticeable?_

_"Uhh—thanks. Appreciate it.." he spoke lowly, and rubbed the back of his neck. He signed the log book, and the lady handed over his room key._

_"Room number 3. Name's Jamie, if you need anything I'm always workin', Mr. Driscoll."_

_He nodded, and gave what he could only call a forced smile. He had so many things running through his brain. Would he actually make it here?_

—

It had been seven and a half months since he had arrived in Tok, Alaska, and he could proudly say that things were going well. Slowly, but well.

He missed Pete and Badger. He really wished he could talk to them one more time. If they hadn't had his back, he wouldn't be where he was today.

There's not a day that goes by where he doesn't think about Mr. White. How everything was finally over.

How he was really dead.

His past haunts him. Jane, Andrea, Brock...

But the only person that comes into his mind at least once a day is Mr. White. Sometimes he even thinks about Walt's family, and how they're doing.

He thinks about his parents, too, and his little brother.

He wished he hadn't fucked everything up. He should've never cooked with Walter.

In the seven and a half months that he's been here, he can't complain. No one has recognized him as the missing accomplice to Heisenberg, and the stories have died down quite a bit. It's speculated that Jesse Pinkman is dead.

He stayed at the motel for about two months, and got a job at a warehouse, moving different things, like parts for cars, boats, fishing gear.. anything you could think of, really.

It wasn't as exciting at cooking, selling, and using crystal meth, but it was normal. He was so happy that he could say he was normal.

He had gotten a small log cabin that sat back in the woods, where he couldn't be bothered. The house had two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a nice kitchen and living room. He loved the wood stove that came installed with it. He also loved the high ceilings of the house, and how it felt so right. He never pictured himself living here until Mike talked to him about Alaska by the river.

Jesse was a normal, boring fuck, that worked 7am to 6pm every day except Sunday. Deep down he hated his job, but he was beyond grateful to have this opportunity to start over.

His only complaint—besides working a normal job, something he never had in his life—was the fact of him being lonely.

Being in a small town, everyone was nice, there were attractive girls, but they all settled for the first man that they were ever with. Usually leaving Jesse searching constantly for someone to keep him warm. He hadn't touched a woman in over a year, and he was strangely.. okay with it?

He didn't want to fuck someone else up.

He didn't want a to meet a nice girl, to take her home, just so she can see the broken shell of the man he really is. The scars on his skin will last until the day he's six foot under. He didn't think of a good enough reason to explain how he got them, so he hadn't bothered trying to get with a girl.

Though he hadn't met a nice girl to date, he had made two new friends from his warehouse.

Dave and Frank.

They weren't Skinny Pete or Badger—not anywhere close, but they were cool.

Dave was married to a nice woman named Carol, and had two twin boys, so Jesse hung out with him once a month at the local bar with Frank.

As for Frank, he was just as single as Jesse. They'd spend every Friday at the bar, having a few drinks, watching whatever was on the static-y television and eating the bar's famous burgers. Well, towns-famous burgers. They'd always bullshit and have a good time, flirting with the two older ladies that tended to the bar.

Frank was definitely Jesse's closest friend. No, he would never tell him about his past life, but he trusted him with everything going on in his fake life. Jesse came up with many lies about his past, but kept the truth about his parents and his little brother. He had told Frank he was a disappointment, kicked out of his parents house for weed, and was always an outcast. He spoke highly of Jake, though. He would always have a soft spot for his little brother, and he was sure Jake thought the same of him.

Frank, Dave, and Jesse were three peas in a pod. They tried to include Dave in everything, but they knew it wasn't possible all the time with his old lady at home with his two kids. The three were dramatically different, but always had a good time. Dave was about Jesse's height, a muscular man with red hair. He had freckles all over him, just as red as his hair. Frank, on the other hand was a monster. 6'6 and pushing 300 pounds. Brown hair, and soft, kind, brown eyes. The three of them were an odd couple to see out in public, but no one judged in Tok.

The only thing that made work enjoyable for Jesse was Frank and Dave. They'd bullshit, but still do their job. When frank and Dave were doing other shit, like deliveries or sorting out the shipping of the products, Jesse would get lost in his mind.

Sometimes, it was just normal, boring life shit. Like, what am I making for dinner tonight? Did I put enough wood in the wood stove? Did I put my wash in the dryer?

Other times, he got deep into his mind. He wondered what it would be like if Jane was still here, or Andrea. He knew Jane wouldn't like it here, it would be too cold. Then again, she always told him she was happy to be with him anywhere. Andrea always said the same thing. Andrea would love it here, her and Brock. Brock would've even had his own room at his new house.

But, it didn't work out that way. Andrea and Jane weren't here, they were dead. His house didn't have a feminine touch, and his spare room only has a twin bed and a lamp for when Frank crashes over his house because he's too drunk to drive. It doesn't have toys for Brock, and isn't decorated for a kid his age.

These thoughts happen at least twice a week.

He came here to escape his past but it will haunt him for the rest of his life. At least he has some minor distractions to keep him pushing.

—

December 16th.

Another typical Friday for Jesse.

Get done work, take a nice, hot shower after freezing in the unheated warehouse all day, then head to the bar to meet Frank.

Ever since he moved here, he found himself dressing to fit in with everyone else. He always wore jeans and a flannel, even to work. He had more flannels than he knew what to do with. Since it was nearing Christmas, and he knew the bar would probably be closed down next Friday, he wore his nicest red and black flannel, and of course, a white undershirt.

He could never quite get used to the cold here, so he also shrugged on his thick, tan, Carhartt jacket. He put a black beanie on his head, then kneeled down in his closet. He unlocked his safe—his first purchase of his new house—and looked at his remaining cash. He still had a lot of money left, but put a good portion down on his house. Definitely not enough to look suspicious, though. He pulled out three $50's, then locked the safe.

He rarely used the money, but for drinking, he always did.

He stuffed the money into his wallet, turned off all his lights except for one, and headed outside. He still always locked his door to his house, no matter how quiet it was where he lived. He didn't need anyone taking his money.

His other newest purchase, which he bought right after the house, was a truck. Nothing too new, but something to get through the snow. A maroon 2011 Chevy Silverado. It reminded him of the color of his old car, so he bought it. The truck did great in the snow, so it was a necessity.

Finally, after cleaning up, locking up, and getting into his truck, he went to the bar to meet Frank.

—

He walked in, removed his beanie, and shoved it in the pocket of his coat. They always kept the bar warm as hell, so he removed his coat, and hug it on the back of his designated barstool. Frank wasn't there yet. He sat down, rubbing a hand over his shaved head, and looked up when a new voice greeted him.

"Hey, Honey, what can I getcha?" She smiled brightly, and leaned towards Jesse from the other side of the counter.

Who the hell are you? He thought, opening his mouth to speak, then smiling.

"Miller lite, bottle, and a shot of Jack. You're new here, ain't ya?" He stated his order proudly, which he hasn't done in months because his two old ladies always knew what he wanted. He had never seen this girl before, and quite frankly, he hoped he saw her more often.

"Heh, yeah. Just moved here a month ago, actually. Had nothing for me back home, wanted to go somewhere quiet." She talked to him as she grabbed his beer, and shot.

He noticed that she had a southern accept, which dropped from her mouth like honey. When she set down his beer, and his shot, he took the shot quickly.

"Yeah.. uh.. it's pretty nice here. Grows on you." He licked the remaining taste of jack off his lips, while he looked her up and down without trying to be too obvious.

He started with her face, of course.

She had light blue eyes, that almost reminded him of the color meth he used to create. It was almost the same color, so of course that thought slipped into his head. She had prominent freckles dusted along her nose and cheeks, and her skin was a golden tan, which was a dead giveaway that she came from some place hot. She had a cute rounded nose, and full, pretty pink lips. Her hair was stained blonde from sun exposure, which made him think that he couldn't compare her looks to either Jane or Andrea.

He let his eyes wander down her body, but definitely went quicker than when he was looking at her face. She was curvy, her breasts weren't huge, but they were more than enough for a good handful. He couldn't see her ass, but he was sure he would eventually.

He snapped his eyes back to hers when she cleared her throat.

"Sorry—what did you say?" Jesse chuckled nervously, and rubbed the back of his neck. Fuck.

"What's your name, I said." She giggled—god help him—, and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, James. Call me Jay. Yours?"

"Elaine, nice to meet you Jay." She smiled, then turned away to wait on another man sitting across the bar from him.

Jesse let out a sigh, and tapped his fingers on the counter. There was no way in hell she would go for him. Not with all the scars all over his face and his damaged eyes.

Jesse looked up from the counter at Frank, who plopped onto the barstool heavily beside him.

"Who the hell is that?!" Frank half whispered to Jesse, as his eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"New girl. Just moved here she said. I'm callin' dibs on that one, yo." Jesse spoke at the same low tone that Frank used, and for once, found himself using his boyish smile again.

"Hell man, I've never seen you smile like that. I'll give you that one. Bet she'll dig the scars 'n shit. Makes you look like a badass." Frank motioned towards his face, to show Jesse he was talking about the scars on his face. Jesse rolled his eyes, and took long sip of his beer.

"What can I getcha?" Elaine walked back over to Jesse and Frank, giving Frank the same bright smile that she gave to him.

"What he's got." Frank merely motioned to Jesse, acting as if he wasn't interested in her at all.

Jesse knew Frank could talk anyone's ear off. He knew he was doing him a favor.

While she hustled to get Frank's beer and shot, he took notice of how short she was. Definitely 4'11 or 5'0. She was tiny, and he knew if he stood up she would only come up to the center of his chest.

"Where you from?" Jesse asked, while she set down Frank's order.

"Texas, San Antonio." She took her position of leaning over the counter again, arms crossed under her chest, and showing way too much cleavage in her black v-neck for Jesse not to look at.

"Oh, yeah, it's nice there. Haven't been inna while." Jesse picked at the label of his beer, then it hit him.

Would she recognize him? San Antonio was only about 10 hours from Albuquerque. Fuck. There's no way they weren't playing the news in Texas with his face plastered all over it.

"You've been there! You kind of look familiar," she puzzled, and all Jesse could think was Fuck.

_Fuck me._


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have a few chapters of this story written, don’t know how far I’ll get with it though. I leave for the military in two weeks, so I’m trying to finish up as much as possible. Also working on another supernatural fic, if anyone watches it ;) enjoy!

_December 16th, still._

Jesse chuckled nervously, and took a large swing of his beer, almost killing it off completely.

"I get that a lot. Must just have one of those faces," his fingernails picked at the label of the beer bottle, then he brought a hand up to his face to rub at his short facial hair.

"Yeah, you really do. Ain't a bad thing, though." Elaine gave him a wink, and put a fresh bottle of beer in front of him.

Jesse had lived here happily for seven and a half months, and he'd be damned if someone recognized him now. Hopefully she didn't dig into it further, or put two and two together.

The rest of the night went on peacefully, Elaine didn't mention anything more about how he looked so familiar. Him and Frank sat at the bar until 11pm, like usual, just bullshitting and talking shit on the new workers at the warehouse.

Elaine would only come over to give them a refill, but didn't say anything more to them. The bar was busy this Friday, almost packed-full. It was mostly just friends coming out to celebrate Christmas early with each other. The usual people.

Jesse stood up from his designated bar stool, where people knew not to sit in on Friday nights because it was his stool since he had arrived in Tok. He pulled his jacket off the back of the stool, shrugging it on over his broad shoulders, and took his beanie out of the pocket of the coat. He put his black beanie back on, and dug through his wallet, pulling out $140. It was more than enough to cover his and Frank's bill, and left a nice amount for the newest bartender as a tip.

"Here, lemme get you your change, Honey." Elaine took his and Frank's empty bottles away, and took the money off the counter to the register.

"No change, keep the rest," Jesse waved his hand dismissively, then zipped his coat up.

"You sure 'bout that?" Elaine looked at him carefully, her brown brows furrowed, and a slight frown on her face.

"'Course, wouldn't of said it if I didn't mean it. You'll be seein' us a lot, can't promise it'll be that good every time." Jesse smirked, then looked over—well up—at Frank. Frank had a playful smile on his face, and Jesse could almost read his thoughts.

"Well, thank you Jay, and Frank. I'll see y'all around, have a merry Christmas." She deposited Jesse's money in the register, then pocket the change for herself.

"I'm Jewish, but you too, girl." Frank said matter-of-factly, which caused Jesse to laugh.

Elaine also laughed, which sounded like music to Jesse's ears. A beautiful girl, with a voice, and laugh like honey. He could drink her in all day long and probably would never get tired of her.

Frank and Jesse made their way out to the parking lot, only to see it was snowing, again.

"Catch you tomorrow?" Jesse shouted over to Frank, as he walked over to his truck.

"Nah, not comin' in tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be seein' you here, though." Frank raised his eyebrow, and motioned his head towards the bar.

"Yeah, got that right, she's smokin', yo. Wouldn't mind seein' her more." Jesse chuckled. For the first time he felt like he had something more to look forward to. A pretty girl would always make Jesse's heart clench. He was a sucker for a cute face, and a nice personality.

"Guess I'll see you here tomorrow, then. Maybe we'll get Davey to come out." Frank unlocked his truck, and opened the door.

"Doubt it, he said today one of the twins have a fever. His wife's got him by the balls more than ever." Jesse sighed, and shrugged. Couldn't blame the man for having a family and being a good dad.

"Welp, never mind then. Catch you later, Jay." With that, Frank got into his truck and left.

Jesse hopped into his truck, starting it to let it warm up a little bit. He opened his center console, and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Cracking his window slightly, he lit one, and took a deep drag. Immediately, his mind started to overthink, like it always did.

_Would she even want someone like me?_

_Will she figure out who I am?_

_What if I fuck her and she sees the scars all over my back?_

_How do I tell her I'm fucked in the head?_

He knew he was overthinking this already, he had just met the girl. Sure, she was flirty, but even the old ladies that worked behind the bar flirted with him. They always said if they were 30 years younger they would've had him in their bed every night.

_Whatever._

He decided he had sat there, in the parking lot, long enough and drove home.

—

_January 13th. Thursday._

Three weeks had passed since Jesse had met Elaine, and he had saw her quite frequently. He found himself not only going to the bar every Friday, but also every Thursday and Sunday. Frank only came out on Friday's, so he got to know Elaine a little better.

She told him how her parents had died in a bad car crash two years ago, and she was an only child. All their money and assets had been left to her, but she couldn't bare to be in a state anymore where she had nothing. So, just like him, she moved here for a fresh start.

He found out that she lived about ten minutes from his house, also in a cabin like his, that sat back in the woods. They found each other talking about how peaceful it was in Alaska more than anything.

Jesse didn't tell her much about his life, except his fake story that kind of related to his real life. His excuse for moving here was his parents hated him for his past decisions, and he also had nothing left for him back in his hometown, which he said was Utah.

Thursday's at the bar were usually pretty quiet, since almost everyone worked on Friday's. He didn't mind, because he got to spend more time talking to Elaine.

He picked at the label on his Miller lite, glancing at the clock behind the bar. It read 9:15 pm.

Elaine set a shot of Jack Daniels in front of Jesse, and smiled.

He quickly moved his eyes from the clock, to the shot, then her face. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled, and she motioned to the shot in front of him. She also had her own shot in her hand.

"Drinkin' on the job now?" Jesse smirked, and picked up the small glass, clinking it with hers.

They both threw the amber liquid back quickly, neither of them cringing at the burning taste it left in their throats.

"Well, being as there's only 6 people here, in total, and you looked like you needed one, I decided to have one with you." She gave him a playful smile, and leaned her hip on the counter top.

Jesse smirked, letting his tongue run over his lower lip as he glanced over her outfit for today.

A black and white flannel hung loosely unbuttoned from her frame, but the tight, white tank top that she had underneath gripped every curvy, and smooth part of her. He couldn't help but to let his eyes linger on her breasts, before he moved his eyes back on her beautiful face. He ran his tongue over his lower lip again, and chuckled.

"Thanks, I did. Long day, I guess." He ran his finger along the rim of his empty shot glass, tracing delicate circles. He realized since he had stopped doing drugs he always needed something to keep his hands occupied with.

"Tell me, Jay, if it doesn't bother you, how'd you get those scars on your face?" She questioned innocently, and he watched as her eyes skimmed over his face.

He had told Frank and Dave the same story, but every time he thinks of it, he can't help but to think of the real reason. The torture that he endured for weeks on end. He still has a hard time in the shower, sometimes.

"Was walkin' home from a bar one night a few years ago and this stupid bitch pulled a knife on me. He got a few good swings at my face. Beat the shit outta him, and moved on with my life. Ain't nothin' special, ight?" He ran a hand, self consciously over the little bit of scruff that he kept on his face. He hadn't had his hair long since he was in the pit. He always kept it pretty close to shaved, as well as his face.

"Jesus, I'm sorry. Glad you didn't get hurt worse than that. Wouldn't have my favorite customer today if you did." Again, with that stupid sweet smile that was so contagious to him. He just wanted to kiss it off her gorgeous face.

"Well, since we wanna ask personal questions—you got a boyfriend?" He asked boldly, finally growing a pair of balls. Well, his balls couldn't get any fucking bigger from lack of sex.

"No, I'm a lesbian." She furrowed her eyebrows, and gave him a dirty look. This instantly sent Jesse sputtering.

"Oh shit, sorry, yo. Didn't know that, Jesus, wouldn't of asked.." he laughed nervously, and his hand immediately found the back of his neck.

Elaine bursted out laughing, and gave him that contagious smile again. "I'm just bustin' your balls, Jay. No, no boyfriend. No, not a lesbian." She spoke through her laughs, and patted his hand that was rested on the counter.

"Well, since you wanna play games like that, bitch, guess I'm gay." He leaned back in his barstool, and raised his eyebrows.

"I'm startin' to think you are, never seen you have a girl around." Elaine grabbed him a fresh beer, and pushed her light blonde hair behind her back.

"Yeah, cause half the bitches here are married, hideous, or prudes. Haven't found anyone yet worth while."

"So do I fall in the hideous, or prude category?" Elaine asked, and smirked at Jesse.

"Shit, neither. Well, I don't know if you're a prude or not. Seems like you respect yourself, though." He mumbled, and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his front pocket.

She watched him as he put his cigarette up to his lips, lighting it, then inhaling deeply. She licked her lips, and leaned towards Jesse so none of the other customers could hear her.

"Yeah, I respect myself, but every girl likes to be treated like a slut once in a while. Just like you, I haven't found anyone worth while either.. well.." Her voice was low, and her tone was seductive. She looked him up and down, and smirked.

Jesse almost chocked on his smoke, and his eyebrows shot straight to his hairline.

"Shit, I mean, yeah, well, yeah..." he babbled, looking at her questionably. He hadn't had a girl say shit like that to him since well over a year ago.

"Invitation is open for you, though." She kept that damn smirk on her face, and strutted away from Jesse to wait on a different customer.

He was flabbergasted, to say the least. He took another long drag from his cigarette, and looked at the clock, again. 9:56pm.

He was lost in his thoughts for a few moments, before he heard her voice cut through the bar.

"Alright, y'all, last call." A few of the town drunks groaned, and she spoke up again. "Derry, you know we're open till two in the mornin' tomorrow, and we open at 11 in the mornin'. We'll see you then." She singled out the most notable town drunk, who was in the bar opening to closing every day.

Jesse finished off his beer, and stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray in front of him. He stood up from his barstool, shrugging his coat over his shoulders, and putting on his beanie.

Elaine walked back over to Jesse, taking his empty.

"What time do you get outta here?" Jesse asked, leaning over the counter towards her. She mimicked his movements, her face mere inches from his.

"Danielle is in charge of the drawer tonight, so I'm leavin' same time as you." She mumbled lowly, and tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Well, uh, if you wanna come back to my place, have a real drink with me, you're more than welcome to.." he ran his tongue over his lower lip, and stared at her full, pink lips.

"Yeah.. I'll meet you in the parkin' lot inna few. I'll follow you.."


End file.
